Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Guevara "Cool" no longer?




As Americans we have this undying need to support the under-dog or maybe being a country of "revolutionaries" ourselves we find a bond or kindship with. It doesn't matter if we have the facts or not, its just a feeling thing.

Seeing Johnny Depp on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine with a Che Guevara medallion around his neck could misguide and misdirect a ton of people. Look around at the celebraties that just have no clue and blindly wear shirts, hats, and who knows what else with Che's likeness on them. Well the story/interview below may help to educate some, it did me.



'Cool' Icon Che Guevara Was a Murderous Thug, Author Says
By Michael Chapman
CNSNews.com Managing Editor
July 30, 2007

(Editor's Note: In the first of a two-part interview, Cybercast News Service speaks to Humberto Fontova, author of the new book, "Exposing the Real Che Guevara and the Useful Idiots Who Idolize Him.")

(CNSNews.com) - Che Guevara, who aided Fidel Castro in his rise to power in Cuba in the late 1950s and early 1960s, is today an icon of liberal culture worldwide. His picture and image adorn countless products, from posters to t-shirts to CD cases to bikinis.

Robert Redford made a 2004 movie about Guevara, "The Motorcycle Diaries," which won media praise and an Academy Award. Two more Guevara movies are due for release in 2008.

Yet the liberal-left and Hollywood are perpetuating myths, if not outright lies, about Guevara, according to author Humberto Fontova in his book, "Exposing the Real Che Guevara and the Useful Idiots Who Idolize Him."

Fontova discussed with Cybercast News Service his new book and what he describes as the real Guevara - the man who directly helped Castro put into place a communist regime responsible for at least 102,000 deaths and which has cycled 500,000 people through its gulag.

Cybercast News Service: Why did you write this book?

Humberto Fontova: Because of the blizzard, the avalanche, the non-stop flood of complete B.S. that has been issuing from Castro's Cuba and from Castro himself since February 1957, when he had his first interview with the New York Times. He has had the Western media eating out of the palm of his hand.

I'll tell you what I told Alan Colmes, from Fox's "Hannity & Colmes." He said, "How can you - all of a sudden - discover all these things about Che Guevara?" And I said, "No, Alan, these things were discovered in 1959. These things were recorded as they were happening. But it's just that they never made it into the mainstream media, not just in the United States but also worldwide."

Cybercast News Service: Who was reporting the facts about Che Guevara in 1959 and not the propaganda?

Humberto Fontova: Cuban-Americans primarily. It was recorded a lot in Spanish newspapers. A lot of the sources for my book were Spanish-language sources - there were books and periodicals published in places such as Mexico City and Madrid. When many Cubans got to America, they learned that no major publisher would touch an anti-Castro book. Some people started their own publishing companies, but the sad part is that most of this stuff was published only in Spanish. But these things have been known since 1959.

Cybercast News Service: Who were the people in America and in the Western world praising Che Guevara and Castro?

Humberto Fontova: At the same time that Che is the chief executioner for the Cuban revolution and hundreds of bodies are being piled up every week by firing squads, we have none other than Ed Sullivan referring to Fidel Castro as the George Washington of his country. Now, Ed Sullivan made amends later. He is one of the few who actually retracted his comment. But we had Harry Truman saying Castro was doing what was best for Cuba - quote "we ought to extend our sympathy and help him to do what is right for them." We had CBS's Edward R. Murrow. Look at the movie "Good Night and Good Luck" - oh, Ed Murrow snarled when he got in front of Joe McCarthy. He was the grand inquisitor when he got in front of a right-winger. Well, Murrow actually went to Havana to interview Castro, and he complimented his dog, "That's a cute puppy, little Fidelita!" In that interview, he got no further than some talk about Castro's son - who Castro never took care of and abandoned - and his "little puppy." That's the type of investigative journalism we've come to expect when investigating things in Cuba.

Cybercast News Service: Why are so many people in the U.S. media and in academia so enthralled with Che Guevara and apparently so willing to repeat myths and distort facts about him?

Humberto Fontova: The whole thing starts with the cachet, the coolness surrounding the Cuban revolution. At the time, the United States was the biggest fuddy-duddy, Leave-it-to-Beaver country in the world. Then, all of a sudden, you had these long-haired revolutionaries down in Cuba - they were the first hippies, the first beatniks. Look at Che Guevara in those years. Take off the beard and you've got Jim Morrison. Raul Castro used to carry his shoulder-length blond hair in a ponytail. Camilo Cienfuegos looked like another Jerry Garcia. There was that coolness cachet, plus all the misconceptions about what Cuba was like prior to these guys.

Cybercast News Service: So, there is a lot of ignorance about pre-Castro Cuba?

Humberto Fontova: Yes. In fact, in 1958, Cuba had a higher per capita income than half of Europe. It had double Japan's per capita income. Cuban laborers, the unionized labor - the Cuban labor force was more unionized than the U.S. labor force - had the eighth highest wages in the world. This was at a time when Cubans could get a U.S. visa for the asking. Any Cubans could leave their country, with all of their property, at any time. At that time, in the 1950s, there were fewer Cubans living in the United States than there were Americans living in Cuba. No country in the world can make that claim. Cuba had the 13th lowest infant mortality rate, not in the hemisphere but in the world. Cuba had more doctors and dentists per capita than Great Britain and the United States.

So people now say, "Fine, Humberto, if Cuba was such a rosy place, then why did they have a revolution? Why did so many Cubans back Fidel Castro?" The answer is simple: It was not billed as a revolution. It was billed as a political rebellion. In other words, what was going to be ousted was the quasi-dictatorial regime of [Fulgencio] Batista, which was really not dictatorial technically. It was corrupt and sporadically brutal because of its police. But, as I said, in those years, the 1950s, people used to flock into Cuba. Cuba took in more immigrants, as a percentage of population, before the Cuban revolution, than did the United States. People used to jump on rafts from say, neighboring Haiti and Jamaica to try to enter Cuba. They were as desperate to enter the place then as they are to exit it now.

Now, we know that 20 percent - out of a country that was previously inundated with immigrants - of the population has fled. And that's a small percentage of those who wanted to leave and want to leave. So the ignorance about Cuba before Castro adds a lot to the myth and mis-reporting about Cuba.

Cybercast News Service: When academics and Hollywood and establishment media promote untruths about Guevara and Cuba, is it ignorance, or that they're sympathetic towards Castro, or both?

Humberto Fontova: It's a combination and reflexive anti-Americanism. You have to remember that, well before Osama bin Laden, Fidel Castro and Che Guevara were the emblems of anti-Americanism, the worldwide emblems. Basically, the Cuban revolution and everything associated with it - and Che Guevara is the primary symbol of that - is the handiest club to pick up and whack the U.S. on the head.

Cybercast News Service: What do you consider to be some of Guevara's greatest crimes or offenses that people today should know about?

Humberto Fontova: He was the chief executioner. He performed for the Cuban revolution what Heinrich Himmler performed for the Nazis. Everything Che Guevara did was directed by Fidel Castro. Early on, when they were in the mountains, Castro realized that Che seemed to relish executing little farm boys. There were executions carried out, carried out in the mountains, of so-called informers. I interviewed many people who witnessed those executions. There was no due process.

Che Guevara wrote a letter to his father in 1957 and to his abandoned wife. In the letter to her, he wrote, "I'm here in Cuba's hills, alive and thirsting for blood." Then, to his father, "I really like killing." The man was a clinical sadist, whereas Fidel Castro you could describe as a psychopath in that the murders did not affect him one way or the other. It was a means to an end - the consolidation of his one-man rule. Che has a famous quote, where he wrote, a revolutionary has to become "a cold killing machine." The thing was, Che Guevara was anything but cold. He was a warm killing machine. He relished the slaughter.

Cybercast News Service: Are there reliable estimates on the number of people killed by Guevara or killed as a result of his policies or orders?

Humberto Fontova: He was put in charge of the execution squads in early 1959. He stayed in charge of the prison where most of the executions took place in Havana. And in the months he was in charge there, about four months until July 1959, the estimates run from 500 to 1,182 men and boys sent to the firing squad without due process. But the system he set in place for the executions ... in that system of justice, according to "The Black Book of Communism" - the definitive source - by the mid-sixties, 14,000 men and boys had been executed in Cuba. That was the year, December 1964, when Che Guevara ... addressed the General Assembly, and he said: "Executions? Certainly we execute. And we will continue executing as long as it is necessary!" So, in other words, he still claimed the system. It was still his system at work.

Cybercast News Service: When you use the phrase "useful idiot," how do you define that?

Humberto Fontova: There's some question whether the phrase was termed by Stalin or by Lenin. But it's related to Lenin's famous comment that, when asked, "where will we get the rope to hang the capitalist class?" Lenin said, "they will sell it to us." It's related to that, to the people who went to the Soviet Union, who saw what they wanted to see, and helped spread communist lies throughout the West. They were "useful" to the Soviet propaganda machine. The Soviet Union no longer exists, but these people, to this day, are "useful" to the Castro regime because that is still the emblem. You go to Cuba today and Che Guevara's face is plastered everywhere. And that face is considered the emblem of the Castro regime and the Cuban revolution. So, those who help whitewash and spread that message are useful to this day to the Castro regime.

Cybercast News Service: Who are the leading "useful idiots" in the United States when it comes to Guevara and Castro?

Humberto Fontova: I guess Robert Redford would have to take first place because of the movie, "The Motorcycle Diaries" - a movie, by the way, that had to be screened for Fidel Castro and Aleida Guevara, Che's widow, in Havana before the Cuban regime gave Robert Redford permission and benediction to release it in the U.S. You can imagine in this country if a U.S. director needed the permission of Nancy Regan to release that HBO movie, "The Reagans." You can imagine the howls of protest from the Hollywood crowd. But for some reason it's considered perfectly proper for a Hollywood director, who fancies himself a champion of artistic freedom, to require the permission of a Stalinist regime in order to release a movie - because that Stalinist regime helped him make it, helped propagate the myth.

It's getting worse now because, coming up there will be two movies about Che Guevara. Steven Soderbergh, an Oscar winner, will be directing Benicio Del Toro as Che Guevara. One movie will be called "Guerilla," although there was no guerilla war in Cuba. The other will be called "The Argentine." They basically pick up where "The Motorcycle Diaries" left off and take Che Guevara through the Cuban revolution, then to Africa, and then to his demise in Bolivia.

We have a clue as to what these movies will be like in that Benicio Del Toro made a comment a few months ago because he's studying up on his character. He said, "Che was just one of those guys who walked the walk and talked the talk. There's just something cool about people like that. The more I get to know Che, the more I respect him."

More interestingly, the screenplay is based on Che Guevara's official diaries. These diaries were published in Havana and edited by Fidel Castro. The propaganda ministry of a Stalinist regime is essentially issuing the screenplay for a Hollywood movie. You can't make this stuff up.

Cybercast News Service: Did Robert Redford's movie rely on similar Castro-regime-approved materials?

Humberto Fontova: Yes, Che Guevara's diaries. Those are the same diaries that he kept as a young man when he was traveling in South America. They were published in Havana. It's very interesting because Robert Redford chose to omit many fascinating items. For instance, in those diaries - the original ones - Che Guevara has a passage where he says, "crazy with fury, I will murder any enemy that falls into my hands. My nostrils dilate while savoring the sweet odor of blood and gunpowder." Naturally, for some reason, that was left out of Redford's heart-warming movie.

All you have to do is take Che Guevara's writing and put it alongside that of [Seung-hui] Cho, the Virginia Tech killer, and you can't tell the difference. Cho comes across as healthy compared to Che Guevara. Yet I haven't seen too many Cho t-shirts around, while there are lots of Che t-shirts.

Cybercast News Service: So, Robert Redford is a "useful idiot"?

Humberto Fontova: Yes, because "The Motorcycle Diaries" movie has probably done as much as anything else to boost the Che Guevara cachet.

Cybercast News Service: And you think Guevara has become so idolized because of people like Redford?

Humberto Fontova: Yes, ignorance and reflexive anti-Americanism. That sums it up. Che is known as a cool symbol. You can be anti-American and be Osama bin Laden, but that's not as cool. Put al-Zarqawi or Osama bin Laden on a poster, and they don't look cool, whereas Che Guevara looks like Jim Morrison. It's a good-looking, cool symbol for reflexive anti-Americanism.

Cybercast News Service: So these people really are useful idiots?

Humberto Fontova: Yes, but with the ignorance. I talk to young people and kids. The high school and college kids look at the image and probably think Che's a drummer for the Smashing Pumpkins. Slightly older ones, the Gen-Xers, think it's probably Bob Marley on the t-shirt. And many in my generation think of him as Jim Morrison of The Doors.

Cybercast News Service: You talk about some of these folks at Newsweek and Jon Lee Anderson and Richard Goodwin-can you explain how they've spread propaganda about Che Guevara?

Humberto Fontova: Anderson is the worst. His book, "Che Guevara: A Revolutionary Life" is more than 800 pages and considered by, again, all the major reviewers as the definitive book on Che. It's interesting because Anderson wrote it while living in Cuba, with the full cooperation of the Castro regime. The propaganda ministers of a totalitarian regime feed information to this guy; he puts it in his book; and then it's broadcast all over the world as an "authoritative" source. It boggles the mind.

Cybercast News Service: It would be like someone sitting in the office of Joseph Goebbels and taking dictation?

Humberto Fontova: As I say in the book, it's like, let us say that Hitler died, one of the assassination attempts against him succeeded, and then a so-called historian were to go to write Hitler's biography and were to use Joseph Goebbels, Hermann Goering, and Martin Bormann as his sources. Would any sane person take that book seriously? But when it comes to the Cuban revolution, people don't look past that. There's something about the Cuban revolution that blinds people to reason.

Cybercast News Service: Is that intellectual blindness because liberals, in general, tend to look at issues based on emotion instead of reason - that, for instance, the communists "meant well" and wanted to help people and therefore they were good guys?

Humberto Fontova: Leftists are always judged on their intent, on their motives, rather than their results. But the intent and motives of the Cuban revolutionaries were not noble; they were Stalinists from the get-go. Che Guevara would sign his correspondence, before he even went to Cuba, as "Stalin II." The Cuban revolution did not veer off course. It was always led by Stalinists. Declassified Soviet documents now show that there were KGB agents in 1958 involved. Raul Castro, for instance, had KGB contacts from the mid-1950s. So, their intent was not noble. They were Stalinists from the get-go.

Cybercast News Service: And there were KGB or GRU agents training Guevara and others?

Humberto Fontova: Yes, the GRU was training the firing squads. In early 1959, when Che Guevara took over probably the most luxurious house in Cuba, that is where most of the meetings were held with Soviet agents. And, early on, these agents were Spanish communists who had fled the Spanish Civil War for the Soviet Union. They were the ones the Soviets sent to Cuba to train and hob-knob with their Cuban counterparts. They met in Che's house to plot the Stalinization of Cuba.

(to be continued)

Monday, July 30, 2007

I finally have something to say...

As the General of this blog I do what most generals do. I sit back and watch the grunts perform, (i.e. post). However today I came across a news story that really got my goat. Apparently a man (use that term loosely,) named Dan Frazier is selling anti-war t-shirts that have the names of our US soldiers who gave their lives for our freedom and the war in Iraq. He claims to be raising awareness to the cost of the war using his right to free speech but this "free speech right" is making him a profit at the expense of our soldiers and their grieving families who happen to believe in what their family members died for. The families are not making a profit on their loss but this bozo thinks it is OK for him to earn a living this way. The state in which Mr. Frazier lives (Arizona) has passed a law prohibiting him from selling those shirts in that state as have 4 other states as well. Regardless of your stance on the war, this free speech seems to be morally apprehensive to this war hero. God bless our troops. See article below.

States Try to Stop Commercial Use of Dead Soldiers' Photos, Names
Thursday, May 17, 2007

PHOENIX — Incensed by the sale of anti-war T-shirts and other paraphernalia emblazoned with the names and pictures of America's military dead, some states are outlawing the commercial use of the fallen without the permission of their families.
Despite serious questions of constitutionality, Oklahoma and Louisiana enacted such laws last year, and the governors of Texas and Florida have legislation waiting on their desks. Arizona lawmakers are on the verge of approving a similar measure.
"You should have some rights to your own name and your own legacy, particularly if you're a deceased veteran," said state Sen. Jim Waring, a Republican who sponsored the Arizona bill. "Celebrities have that. Why shouldn't our soldiers have that?"
The bills were prompted largely by pleas from military families upset that their loved ones' names and photos were being used on phone cards, body armor and other products.
In many cases, the target of their ire is Dan Frazier, a Flagstaff man who sells T-shirts online that list the names of 3,155 U.S. military personnel killed in Iraq. The shirts bear slogans such as "Bush Lied — They Died" and "Support Our Remaining Troops — Bring the Rest Home Alive."

Margy Bons, a Phoenix-area woman whose Marine reservist son, Sgt. Michael A. Marzano, was killed by an insurgent bomb in Iraq in 2005, said he believed in his mission.
"My son was not duped into going to war," she said. "I'm angry that somebody can use somebody else's name for their political beliefs without permission."
Frazier, 41, said he will not retreat. "I'm providing a valuable service to people to help show the enormity of the cost of war," he said.
Under the Arizona bill, violators could get up to six months in jail and fines of $2,500 for an individual and $20,000 for an enterprise. A spokeswoman for Gov. Janet Napolitano declined to say whether she would sign the bill if it reached her desk.
The Florida bill would impose a $1,000 penalty per violation for using a military member's name or photo commercially without permission.
Law enforcement officials in Oklahoma and Louisiana said they were unaware of any prosecutions under their laws. But the Arizona legislation also authorizes families to sue, and Bons said she will see Frazier in court.
Frazier said he has sold a couple of thousand shirts through his Web site, www.carryabigsticker.com, since 2005 and regards it as more of a political statement than a moneymaker. He said the shirts, which sell for $20 to $22, are expensive to produce.
Frazier said the various state bills and laws infringe on his First Amendment rights to free speech.
Waring said Frazier is selling a commercial product, and that opens the door to state regulation.
"This is clearly commercial speech. He's not giving the shirts away," Waring said. "I don't dispute that if he was giving the shirts away to make a political statement, we probably couldn't do anything about that."
However, a constitutional law expert said the fact that the dead soldiers' names are public record and that the Arizona legislation grants exceptions for plays, articles and certain other uses could undermine its constitutionality.
"You can't make some irrational distinctions and stop some people and not others without a really good reason," said Paul Bender, an Arizona State University professor and a top Justice Department official in the Clinton administration.
Bender said the shirts are clearly a political statement: "He's not advertising anything on the T-shirts."
(Copyright 2007 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
APTV 05-17-07 1410EDT

The Wayne Fontes Experience: The Detroit Tigers bullpen as seen thru the music of The Police#links

The Wayne Fontes Experience: The Detroit Tigers bullpen as seen thru the music of The Police#links

You've got to read Big Al's take on the Tiger's latest woes. The way this guy writes and describes his frustration with the Kitty's is so much like mine, that there is no way in hell we could be in the same room watching the latest crap served up from our MLB team. Actually I get so pissed at the Lion's....oops Tigers, that I try not to write about them so I don't have to relive the pain!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

LAKE FACTS

How much do you know about Michigan and our Lakes? After reading an article in the July 29, 2007 edition of the FreePress by writer Ron Dzwonkowski, I now know a lot more! Check out excerpts that I found interesting:
  • The generally agreed-to estimate of the number of inland lakes in Michigan is 11,000.
  • If somebody tells you to "go jump in the lake," in Michigan you are never more than 6 miles from one.
  • In area, Lake Superior is the world's second largest. The other four Great Lakes ranked in order by surface area: Huron, Michigan, Erie and Ontario.
  • Two of northern Michigan's largest and most popular inland lakes are Houghton and Higgins. They sit between U.S.-127 and I-75.
  • Michigan's three largest inland lakes are: Houghton, Torch and Charlevoix.
  • Walled Lake got it's name from earthen buildups that may have been from waves and ice that resembled walls around parts of the lake.
  • The drop in water level at the Soo Locks for ships coming down from Lake superior into the lower lakes is 21 feet.
You can read the complete article at http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2007707290545

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Luxury Tax Response from Gov.Granholm


If you remember a little while back(Tuesday June 26th) I sent an e-mail to Gov.Granholm regarding a Luxury Tax on sports and entertainment tickets, and below is the response I was sent from her office. Go to the bottom of the response for more comments.



Dear Mr. S(aka- Pvt. Gump):

Thank you for contacting Governor Granholm’s office. Your email in opposition to increased taxes on tickets to sporting events and other entertainment venues has been received and read. The following is the Governor’s response on the issue:



“To resolve the unprecedented fiscal crisis facing our state I have been working to enact the plan that I introduced in my State of the State address and in the budget I submitted to the Legislature. It is based on a balanced approach that combines additional cuts in government spending, with reforms that reduces the cost of government and new revenues. Through this approach, we could invest in the things we need to bring jobs to our state and avoid the deep cuts to education, health care and public safety that would jeopardize any chance we have for economic recovery.



Since offering this plan, I have eliminated the approximately $1 billion shortfall in our current budget, which resulted in cuts to every department of state government. In addition, I was able to reach agreement with the Legislature to replace our Single Business Tax when it expires at the end of the year. This prevents adding $2 billion to our $1.8 billion deficit in the Fiscal Year 2008 budget and gives Michigan a competitive business tax that will make it easier to keep existing jobs here and attract new investment and jobs to our state.



As these most recent spending cuts and the $4 billion in deficits I resolved in my first term indicate, I am willing to make tough choices to balance the budget. However, I reject a “cuts alone” solution to the deficit because it would result in severe funding reductions to schools, health care and our police and fire departments. Without new revenue and cost cutting reforms, we would give up any hope of economic recovery for our state.



The Legislature is entertaining numerous proposals about the best way to generate revenue, including a tax on high-end discretionary services. While I believe that new revenues must be part of the overall solution to our budget deficit, I cannot predict with any certainty which of these many proposals for new revenue will become legislation that reaches my desk. I will keep your views in mind as negotiations over the Fiscal Year 08 budget go forward.”


Again, thank you for your correspondence to the Governor’s office.


L. S., Assistant to T. G.
Constituent Services Division
Office of Governor Jennifer M. Granholm


Did the Governors office just tell me to F-off, because it just sounded like it!? You will keep my opinions in mind, sure you will.

Where the state gets the money is important and a concern, but my point was and still is "Do not tax our free time recreational outlets." Hell, we have to work more hours or more jobs just to provide for our families, which means less time with them anyway so dumping a state tax on top of that is an insult to an already injured situation. This is the same old issue of an elected official telling the general public to get bent and deal with it. Its sad that we have to put up with this low level Dictatorship type governing.

So in closing I want to say sorry to local sports, I can not support you anymore due to being taxed to death by my State Government and basic lack of fiscal responsibility.

If the above is the best our State can do maybe we need to look for outside help.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Devil Went Down to US Cellular

Last night I swear the Devil stopped by US Cellular Field, and here is the story. The evil White Sox fans were hating on the Tigers as usual and Lucifer wanted to hear his minions scream out expletives like true word artists. Hearing that there was a double header he ended up spending the day. The first game goes as planned for "Hater Nation" and everyone there is appeased so not much to mention here. But game two was an entirely different story.

Things were going well for the Tigers and Virgil Vasquez, who was on his second start of the season, and only gave up two runs and four hits in five plus innings. So the score is seven to two and only three and a half innings left. The Tigers are looking good and are far too solid of a team to give up the lead to the lowly White Sox. Right?

As the game goes on there is a grumbling of fan despair, wishing of a win, and of course more expletives. Well all of a sudden a couple in Sec.558 Row 2 Seats 13 and 14 say to one another "I would sell my soul to the Devil for a Sox win!" Meanwhile on the concourse Satan is wolfin' down dogs, brats, nachos, and several beers, when he hears this. 'Ka-poof' a black and gray cloud of smoke goes up on the concourse and the only thing left is a black and red business card spinning on its end, and it says "Call In Time Of Need" whats was the number you ask? Its 1-313-666-1313.

Up in Sec.558 the couple still shocked and pissed that the Tigers are winning, they hear this lightening strike, and a crack bang, and look at the row behind them only to see a dark figure in all black White Sox gear, including his #25 Thome jersey from way back, when Jim, shall we say sold his. Anyway, the couple being waist deep in draft beer, pays very little attention to the new stranger, but accept him with open arms due to his Sox gear. The Devil leans in and says "I couldn't help but over hear that you guys would sell your soul for a White Sox victory?" the couple respond almost in unison "Hell yes!" With this the Devil introduces himself as Lou Siffer, and the couple introduces themselves as Stan and Mary Kate Wiznowski(any similarities on characters is coincidental)so Lou says to the couple "If I can promise you a White Sox victory would you sign for me?"Stan perks-up and says "throw in a couple of jumbo beers and you got a deal!" After that exchange a puff of gray smoke poofs in Lou's hand, and suddenly appears a long tan piece of paper with an X and two blank lines at the bottom of it. Stan and Mary Kate still giggling and rolling their eyes over the whole thing, and are handed a pen by Lou. The pen has tiny little spikes all over it, well being tanked on draft ball park beer they don't feel the pen prick their fingers, and they end up signing in their own blood. Immediately after Stan and Mary sign, Stan says "Hey Jag-off wheres my friggin beer!" and then Mary Kate chimes-in with "come on shithead you promised!" Lou says "a deals a deal." So Lou turns to the isle and there are two ice cold jumbo beers. Lou hands them to the couple and says "enjoy the game, and I'll see ya later"

Lou starts his promise by giving one of his favorite business partners Jim Thome a three run homer off of Chad Durbin. Then Lou throws in a couple of errors by two normally good Tigers, and for the coup de grace he makes it so Zach Miner can't get a pitch over the plate, and its like something is tugging on him to turn towards 1st and 2nd base. The Tigers tried to fight the damnation, but it was too strong due to Satan sending a false distress signal from the LA Angels to God, and God was distracted at the moment, because God always answers the Angels call first.

White Sox nation was so rich in sales, that "Lou" got himself a sky-rise apartment in downtown Chicago.

Moral to the story: Time be comin Chitown to pay up.

Monday, July 23, 2007

General Patton Lives?


The Youtube video below is a parody of one of my top three favorite speeches ever.

Well, they do a very good job taking a WWII General Patton speech and making it current. The voice over work is great, and the content is in my opinion very accurate and worth a listen.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Deportation of Illegal Aliens

The News sites I check into everyday have asked in the past for its readers to mail a letter or write an email, and maybe even call their State Representatives on certain topics of importants. I have done this in the past on several things most recently the Amnesty Bill, which happily has not passed. Well, along those same lines comes the deportation of illegals, and more importantly the criminal illegal aliens, and even more importantly the CONVICTED Illegal Aliens. How many more News stories of an innocent American dying do we have to hear before we do something?

Its time to take a stand, and voice your outrage to all levels of government. Michelle Malkin and the Hotair.com team have started a grass-roots project to help you do something. There they have options of things you can do, like send letters, organize locally or make some calls. The site is www.deportthemnow.com to sign up and do something, anything, big or small it doesn't matter. Michelle Malkins campaign is at this link--- http://michellemalkin.com/2007/07/18/wwwdeportthemnowcom/ ---There you can read for yourself whats going on.

I know what your all saying to yourself, "but what can I do", Well here's something easy, that takes very little time that you can do. When I signed up this morning I told them I would post it, and email the info, so something like that is helping.

Go to Michelle's site and you will see the importance of this issue. Below is Michelle's youtube video.

Now back to some fart jokes!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wounded Warrior Project

Pvt. Gump introduced me to this charity. Please take a few minutes and go to the website and check it out at www.woundedwarriorproject.org . There are many different ways of supporting our wounded soldiers...from sending a Thank You card to making a donation. It's all explained on the website. If you aren't in a position to donate you CAN help by placing a vote online naming WWP (Wounded Warrior Project) as your favorite charity. Charitable organizations are listed and Wounded Warrior Project is on this list. The charity that gets the most votes, from people like you and me, gets the charity a $100K donation! Sweet! All this for a few minutes of your time. Please check it out and vote...you can vote once a day till the event ends. EVERY vote counts, especially yours! Go here and vote today and tomorrow and the next day! http://rezoom.com

Too Sexy for the Runway

I know so many of you are going to say "your mean", "you try walking in those", and your probably right, but honestly tell me you didn't laugh while watching this! Everyone loves a good trip especially when its a beautiful dignified fashion model. Look at the earlier post of when I took a spill, and my coworkers couldn't wait to explode with laughter, and I couldn't blame them. If you don't want to laugh...don't watch.


Tuesday, July 17, 2007

TV Commercials


My family and I were watching the Tigers game this past Sunday. Everyone was having a good time talking, and sharing how smart we all are with stats, the schedules, and the batting rotation, you know the usual baseball talk. All of a sudden a commercial comes on the TV, and it is noticeably three to five times louder than the game, and we were all like what-the-F*$@#! So my Dad being the patriarch of the family quickly gave the job of volume control to my younger brother, who is now responsible for turning it down when a commercial comes on, and back up when the game comes on. Now don't get me wrong, I do like watching the little shit have to do this, but what a pain in the ass.

Why do we consumers have to tolerate this from the TV Station its advertisers and the FCC!? Well, I wrote them a little letter via email asking them, why, what can be done, and are they aware of this. I'll keep you posted on my findings...if any. The attached Family Guy video from Google is an FCC tribute if you will.

Sweet Jeans!

Developed by Chuck Norris for stunt fighting in action movies. Those great looking western style jeans have a unique hidden gusset which allows greater movement without binding or ripping.
As a kid I wore Toughskin Jeans as many of us did. If I know that these were available I'd be all over 'em. Awesome!



Friday, July 13, 2007

Speaking of the Arts

In reply to your post Ubster, I would like for you to (a.) Learn this song or (b.) Rent this singing group for our workouts. Every great fighting man has a theme. See video proof.

Martial Arts

Pvt.Gump and I have decided to start working out. The 30-something beer belly is dragging us down. Martial Arts is a always good cardio workout, here is a video of us sparring. Can you guess who is who?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

iPhone

Why would anyone try and buy all the iPhone's in a store?
Because they are STUPID!
This one goes as my Monday funny on a Tuesday. Ha Ha.

Monday, July 9, 2007

*Red Wings Signing*

Today the Wings signed some grinding toughness...again. So wait a minute, signing a 38+ year old with a history of injuries is a good idea because he has experience...oh, ok then. AP article below.

July 9, 2007

AP - Jul 9, 12:29 pm EDT


DETROIT (AP) -- The Detroit Red Wings agreed to terms on a one-year contract with veteran forward Dallas Drake on Monday.
The Red Wings originally selected Drake in the sixth round of the 1989 NHL Entry Draft. He played two seasons with Detroit before being traded to the Winnipeg Jets in 1994.
Last month the 38-year-old was placed on waivers by the St. Louis Blues, his team for the last six seasons. Drake signed a two-year contract for $2.2 million before last season and was due to make $1 million next season.
Drake has recorded 174 goals, 297 assists and 844 penalty minutes in 944 NHL games. He ended last season on injured reserve because of a wrist injury.
"He's a very physical player who will add grit to our lineup and make our team even more difficult to play against," Red Wings general manager Ken Holland said in a statement. "He's a veteran player, and you can never have enough experience and leadership on a team."
Drake also played four seasons for the Phoenix Coyotes.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Friday "Not so" Funny

So at about 1pm est. I try to be a good Samaritan and hold the door for a eighty something co-worker, an old eighty something co-worker(like there is another kind of eighty something). Well long embarrassing story short...I had a binder of work CD's in my right hand, and the left one was free. On with the accident...the carpet bunched-up right under my feet, and then someone on the other side of the door opened it up. Well my hands were full...one with the binder the other with the door handle, ya ever notice how you don't seem to let go of things quickly enough while falling...got to hold on...may save self from looking like a fool...well, now I have nothing to fall into or onto except the floor now. It happens, I get up, and look around, and all of a sudden there are like four people looking at me like they are about to explode with laughter, and I'm standing there like a fat guy in line at a loaded buffet with no plate. I'm OK, thanks for asking, but I have this huge bruise on my pride. Hence the video of Gymnastics bloopers, I felt like some of these poor saps who didn't have a spotter or did, but they failed miserably at their jobs. Have a safe weekend everyone. Thanks to Google video for the video.

Breaking Tiger News

*Detroit Tigers infielder Neifi Perez was suspended for 25 games by Major League Baseball for testing positive for a banned stimulant.
The suspension is effective immediately, the office of the commissioner announced Friday.*

Perez, 34, was hitting .172 with one home run and six runs batted in after playing in 33 games for Detroit this year. The 11-year veteran has played for five major league teams and owns a career batting average of .267 over 1,403 games.


Ah ha ha ha, he's batting .172 how good could the forbidden "juice" be!? I mean cheating and sucking. Now does this mean we can finally get rid of him?

Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Cooling of Drinks Experiment

Its summer and we all want our drinks cooled down as quickly as possible so below is the break down of how to do it and the break down of the experiment to try for yourself or to prove it to the sceptical reader. Works well for beer, wine or... well, I don't know what else.....we didn't try it on any other beverages.

Experiment 1: Ice vs. Ice + water vs. Ice + water + salt vs. fridge vs. freezer
Initial measurements:
* Ice
* Ice + water: 33 degrees
* Ice + water + salt (salt melts ice and lowers the freezing point): 24 degrees
Results (after 5 minutes):
* Ice: 57 degrees
* Ice water: 44 degrees
* Salt water: 35.9 degrees
* Freezer: 55 degrees
* Fridge: 60 degrees
Final results [time needed to cool to an unspecified cold temperature for optimum drinking coolness(slightly longer for icy cold)]:
* Ice + water + salt: 5 minutes
* Ice + water: 15 minutes
* Freezer: 25 minutes
* Ice: 30 minutes
* Fridge: 40+ minutes

Monday, July 2, 2007

The"White Reggie Bush"....Now thats funny!

From the Michigan Sports Center.
McGuffie is the recruit that we most want to see in a Maize and Blue jersey some day. He has drawn titles of being the "White Reggie Bush" due to his exciting style of play and undoubtedly could get the Big House crowd on their feet (the portion that cheers anyways). Well, Sam made his way to Ann Arbor for an unofficial visit last Thursday and is making his way home today. This was the first time he got to see the Michigan campus, so getting a feel for it may be that final step in ending the recruiting process. I won't get into the specifics of what went on during the visit, but let's just say, it was all positive. If a decision is made in the near future, then you can bet it will be to attend Michigan. We'll have to let things play out, but the fireworks on the 4th of July may not only be in the sky, but also in the world of recruiting. Here is a youtube video of Sam "White Reggie Bush" McGuffie highlights, and some of the moves are going to make you say things like "thats sick" or "ohh, so nasty". Oh, before I forget turn down your volume...pretty bad music!

So long Matt

In the new day and age of the NHL its safe to say that no players are long term anymore or jersey worthy....meaning no longer will you have to buy a jersey with a certain players name and number on it, your better off getting your favorite number with your name on it, it will last a lot longer. See below for...we lost another one.

From NHL.com

Schneider supplies offense, insurance to Ducks
Shawn P. Roarke | NHL.com Senior Writer Jul 1, 2007, 7:47 PM EDT



Uncertain about defenseman Scott Niedermayer's long term plans, the Anaheim Ducks signed Mathieu Schneider as an insurance policy.
It appears the Anaheim Ducks are pretty uncertain about defenseman Scott Niedermayer's long-term plans, as well.
On Sunday's first day of NHL free agency, the Stanley Cup champion Ducks swooped in and made a surprising offer to Mathieu Schneider, one of the best offensive defenseman on the open market this year. The 38-year-old Schneider, who has played the past three-plus seasons in Detroit and had 11 goals and 52 points in 68 regular-season games last season, signed a two-year deal to join the Ducks.
For Brian Burke, the Ducks’ GM, such indecision on the part of Niedermayer necessitated an aggressive approach in free agency.
"Scott Niedermayer has informed me that he is leaning toward retirement," Burke said in a statement. "Typical of his character and leadership, he made the call this morning in order to allow us to make alternative plans in the event he does not return.
”Although he has not retired and would be welcomed back, we felt adding another top NHL defenseman was critical to defending our championship. Mathieu Schneider fits into that category and will be a great addition to our team."
Schneider is one of the few players in the League who can run the point in the offensive zone as effectively as Niedermayer, who told Anaheim management that he is contemplating retirement in the wake of Anaheim's Cup triumph, which made Niedermayer, the Ducks’ captain, the only four-time Stanley Cup champion active in the NHL. Niedermayer claimed three Cups with New Jersey between 1995 and 2003.
Schneider has also won hockey's most coveted title, helping Montreal to the crown in 1993. This season, he helped the Red Wings get deep into the playoffs before breaking his wrist in the final game of the second-round victory against San Jose. Schneider missed all six games of the Western Conference Finals, a series, ironically, that the Red Wings lost to Anaheim just before the Ducks went on to beat Ottawa in five contests to earn that franchise's first title.
If Niedermayer, who earned the Conn Smythe Trophy for his playoff excellence this spring, decides to return for another season, the Ducks will have the deepest defense in the League.
Aside from Niedermayer, who won the Norris Trophy for the 2003-04 season, the Ducks also feature Chris Pronger, another elite defenseman and former Norris Trophy winner. Francois Beauchemin has blossomed faster than anyone expected and proved this season that he is capable of handling as many important minutes as coach Randy Carlyle sees fit. Veteran stay-at-home Defender Sean O'Donnell, meanwhile, was signed to a contract extension earlier this month.
If Schneider joins the Ducks with that top-four group intact, Anaheim will have a roster of defensemen that will be the envy of the League's other 29 teams.
If Niedermayer decides to retire, Schneider will be asked to take over the offensive reigns of a club that has serious designs on defending its hard-fought crown.
At 38, and with 18 years of NHL experience, Schneider is still among the elite defenseman when it comes to moving the puck in transition, playing the point in the attack zone and quarterbacking the power play.
In 1,132 regular-season games, Schneider has 200 goals and 443 assists. He is a plus-50 for his career and has not been a minus player since finishing the 1999-2000 season with the New York Rangers -- when he played to a minus-6 rating in 80 appearances for a non-playoff team.
Schneider has also been effective in the postseason, appearing in 103 total playoff games. He has nine goals and 43 assists in his playoff career. More importantly, Schneider has played more than half of his playoff games -- 53 of 103 -- by qualifying for the postseason in each of the past six seasons and getting out of the first round on three different occasions.

*NHL.com is the official Web site of the National Hockey League. NHL and the word mark and image of the Stanley Cup are registered trademarks and the NHL Shield and NHL Conference logos are trademarks of the National Hockey League. All NHL logos and marks and NHL team logos and marks as well as all other proprietary materials depicted herein are the property of the NHL and the respective NHL teams and may not be reproduced without the prior written consent of NHL Enterprises, L.P. (c) 2007 NHL. All Rights*

Monday Funny

A Classic!